[I] We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman
[N] Hello
[I] So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like?
[N] Do you really want to know?
[I] Please tell us

[Natalie Portman]
I don't sleep motherfucker off that 'gnac and the durban
Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving
(Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick
I'm busting dudes valves like gushers motherfucker
Pull up to NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To fuck all night!)
Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group
Put my foot down your throat 'til your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screaming, pay for my dry-cleaning
Fuck your man it's my name that he's screaming!

[Interview #2]
[I] I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
[N] I never said that I was a role model
[I] But, what about the kids that look up to you?
[I] Do you have a message for them?

[Natalie Portman]
All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherfucker, drink 'til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
(We love you Natalie!) I wanna fuck you too!
(P!) It's for Portman! (Hey!) It's for pussies!
I'll kill your fucking dog for fun, so don't push me

[Interview #3]
[I] Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this coming from a Harvard graduate?
[N] Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
[I] Really, such as?

[Natalie Portman]
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta lot of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take a shit

[The Lonely Island]
Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning
When my shit gets in your shoe (What!) as for the drug use
Well I can't vouch for that, my dick is scared of you (ooh)

[Outro]
[I] Natalie, one final question
[I] If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it?
[N] No more questions
[I] What!