I'm leavin' blood in the snow and smacking fat men
You mean Santa? That boy's a bitch
He caught my mom Christmas eve and tried to give her a kiss
Fo' real, he's no joke, the guy don't play
He tried to ride way more than a one-horse sleigh
Laughing all the way, but he's not laughin' today
We'll jingle more than his bells, even the elves will pay
COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER!
We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donner
Not a question of when, not even a maybe
Have a drunk Mrs. Clause sayin' “Jiggle it, Baby!”
Give a new meaning to “Ho, ho, ho”
Shake that ass, girl, bumpin' booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal

[Girl as Dina Rae:]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jinglin' all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jinglin' all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East LA

[Bob Rivers as Eminem:]
Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend
Grab Rudolph's horns, and see how far they bend
When his nose turns red, his ass gets sent
Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friends
Oh, Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice
In fact, he'll have me listed as 'naughty' twice
Not 'cause' of the fight, or the Christmas gift heist,
But Because of all the nog I left on his wife
It's time for old nick to move and retire
'Fore we roast his nuts on a big ass fire
Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that crude
I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude
All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick
I mean, when's the last time you seen your dick
I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch
But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit

[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jinglin' all the way (check it out)
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey (yeah)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jinglin' all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East LA
(yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
(yo, yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East LA