Meetin' Alfred out in the woods
Dogs bark and mosquitos bite
Scratchin' the itch that makes it feel good

And I looked into the mirror last night
All I saw was a pretty blonde
And why won't you just tell me
What's goin' on?

Life is funny, but not ha ha funny
Peculiar I guess
You think I got it all goin' my way
Then why am I such a fuckin' mess?

Want a pony and a birthday cake
Want a party with a scary clown
Kneel down and bow to the princess
Kneel down for the Queen of the town

And I looked up at the sky last night
And I thought I saw a bomb
And why won't you just tell me
What's goin' on?

Tell me what's goin' on